SLC Marathon

Here in Logan Utah the winters are harsh and even when the sun is shining the temperature seldom rises above 20 degrees. The snow starts falling November 1 and finally starts to melt mid April. During this multi month freeze, your mind keeps telling your body how cold it is and that it needs to reserve as much fat as it can to generate warmth if needed. The days become dreary and quite depressing.

This year was going to be different. Early in January, I decided that I needed to have a goal that would force me to shed the couple extra pounds I gained during the holidays and maintain the fitness level I got to by the end of summer. I had a brilliant idea. I would register for the Utah Grand Slam - 4 marathons in 1 summer.

Obviously, I had just finished a run and my endorphins were at their peak when I made this rash decision. Its kind of like going to the grocery store when you are really hungry...you get all kinds of crap that you don't really need. Anyhow, I immediately registered for 4 marathons and a 190 mile ultramarathon relay. Since the first race wasn't until mid-April, I had plenty of time to train. This was going to be my 4th marathon after all, so I had this race in the bag....

...I thought I had this race in the bag, until mid-March when it dawned on me that winter may not be over by the day of the race. The forecasts were not looking good. Over a foot of snow was still on the ground and the horrible weather kept coming and coming. Oh, I should mention, I have never trained in the snow nor do I train outdoors. I am an avid treadmill trainer. I have a phobia that if I run outside, I will twist my ankle and not be able to make it home. Plus, if I am injured I may not be able to run for an extended period of time and that would lead to overeating and ultimately an untimely death caused by complications from early onset diabetes. I do not have any medical problems currently, I just fear that running outside will cause them. I also hate the cold - and hot - and the sun beating down on my bald head. Like I said, I am an avid treadmill trainer.

Regardless of the obstacles that laid ahead, I continued my training. My regiment was set, I had my long training runs scheduled and I finally dropped the extra pounds. As the day of the race got closer, the weather continued to be really cold and wet.

After my last marathon, I knew that I needed upgraded gear to run more efficiently. Truthfully, I just wanted something new, so, I drove the 90 miles from Logan to SLC to the Wasatch Running Center. I was like a fat kid in a candy store. The whole shop was nothing but running gear. If you knew how difficult it is to find suitable running gear in Logan, you would surely understand the excitment that was coursing through my veins. Not to mention, the salesman is a marathon runner too and understands all the odd questions that I had. I used this opportunity to pick someone else's brain. You see, running is quite a solo sport. Most people have a hard time comprehending why someone would put themselves through the grueling task of running 26.2 miles. Therefore, most people disbelieve that I actually run these races. And, I am hardly the typical size and shape of a marathon runner.


Anyhow, I am in the store and I was complaining that the watch I typically use requires a foot pod and is not very accurate with mileage and pace. The salesman showed me the new Garmin 405 Forerunner, not the old one that looks and feels like you are wearing a Blackberry on your wrist, but the new one that is actually smaller than my old watch. As soon as I had the Garmin in my hand, I knew I was going to buy it. And because I had driven that far, I decided that I also needed a new pair of running sunglasses. It was the lightest pair of glasses I have ever had on my face. I wore both the watch and sunglasses out the store and for the entire drive home. It was a beautiful day and there was only 5 days before the race.


It is always best to train with your gear so there are no surprises come race day. However, I now had a new watch and sunglasses that I had to adjust to. As soon as I got home I checked the weather so I could venture out into the unknown - outdoor training. Mother Nature was having none of it. At the moment I was fuming over the weather forecast, the sun that I had enjoyed on the drive home turned to clouds and the snow started falling. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! And it stayed like that until Friday afternoon. The GPS on my watch, which requires me to be outside, would remain untested until the day of the race. The sunglasses may never make it out of my drop bag. I don't know if my pre-race anxiety was for the actual race or the excitement of using my new gear.


Fortunately, on Friday, the sun peaked through the clouds. The forecast for the race was going to be 35 degrees at the start and 50 degrees by the finish - and sunny. HOOOORRRRAAAY! I drove down to SLC early to pick up my race packet, get settled in my hotel room and make sure that I get to the All-You-Can-Eat Pasta party early to avoid lines and the porta potties on Saturday.


The evening was quite uneventful. I picked up my packet, checked into my room, ate mediocre pasta and sat on the bed and watched TV. During the 10'oclock news, a rush of excitement passed through me when the broadcast mentioned that 11,000 people were registered for the race. This was going to be my biggest race. Last year it was even televised. I told everyone I know to look for it and DVR the news broadcasts. I didn't expect to be on TV, but you never know. I went to bed and dreamed happy thoughts....


I chose this race because it advertised itself as moderately downhill and flat. The race started at Legacy Bridge on the University of Utah campus and ended at The Gateway. Since The Gateway is west of U of U it would have to be downhill. I should have studied the course map better. There was an overall decrease in altitude of 400 feet, however most of the race was at a 3%-5% incline.


At the starting line thousands of people were waiting to run the race of their lives. I had my GPS calibrated, the watch was comfortable, my sunglasses were on and I was ready to run the race of my life. The race officials decided that during pre-race stretching I should be listening to the musical stylings of the Utah Baptist Pentecostal Faith Temple Choir. What I learned during the hour before the race was that Jesus loves me and that he is risen. I would have perfered listening to Survivor's Eye of the Tiger, but songs about the death of Jesus were inspiring in their own way.


Wouldn't it figure, the horn to declare the beginning of the race was broken and so someone had to yell "ok, go" over the PA to begin the race, how anti-climatic. On a positive note...it has been the only race to begin on time...


I am running through the densely populated course until mile 5 when they break off the half marathoners from the full marathoners. It was then that I realized that the thousands of people that I was running with were not running my race. They were all running the shorter distance. There I am again a solo runner...

It was also at mile 5 that I realized why everybody was only running the half marathon, it was the grueling uphill portion of the race. I knew that miles 5-10 were uphill and I had prepared for them. In fact, I reasoned that this would help with the rest of the race, because I had past the worst the race had to offer. I was wrong - very very wrong.


Miles 5-10 were uphill and a little grueling, but I managed to stay on pace and still had plenty of energy. Mile 11 was a drastic decline and I caught my breath, put a smile on my face and prepared to kick some butt. I did not expect what I encountered next... 5 miles of a gradual incline.

I don't remember much of the race after mile 11. I do remember going over the course map time and time again wondering when the downhill portion would come. Maybe it was my frustration at that point, but I do not recall any downhill portion after mile 11.

The next memory I had was getting to the finish line and hearing the announcer call out "here comes #600 - he looks like he has been to hell and back". Thanks alot a**hole, lets see how you look after running 26 miles. Although I knew where he was coming from, I felt like I had been to hell and back. But I looked at my new watch and could not believe what I saw: 3:55. Three hours and fifty five minutes. While it was 10 minutes off my personal best, I was proud - this was the most grueling race of my life.

And there it was in all its glory, my entourage of friends with a giant astrobright yellow sign with the giant words - GLAD YOU MADE IT LARD ASS!!! I came to my senses and realized why I put myself through this...because I was once a lard ass.